Refresh & Restart

Welcome to the first episode of “The Horth House.”

The Horth House is a podcast created to unite people who have grown up without one or both of their parents. Talking about growing up with a parent is often accepted with judgment and stereotypes. The purpose of The Horth House is to provide a safe place for those without parents to discuss their struggles. Whether you have grown up without one, or both of your parents, you’ve probably felt different than others. There are several struggles and stereotypes we face; I say we because my story is incredibly similar.

I grew up without my dad, faced abusive parents (both physically and emotionally), and always felt like an outcast. I was the only person in my family with my last name; my family told me repeatedly that they didn’t understand what I was going through, and hardly anyone knew anything about my father. I started understanding my life was different from most kids when I was about four. I had my first father figure tell me that he wasn’t my father when I would continuously call him “dad” or “daddy.” It was a core memory. 

I have a joyous life and an incredible childhood for which I will always be grateful. I wasn’t as thankful as I am now, but I understand my life was incredibly privileged. I never want that to be lost.

On the outside, my life looked amazing, but on the inside, I felt lost and alone. I couldn’t understand as a child why I wasn’t allowed to have a dad or have the “perfect family.” I constantly asked myself what I did to deserve this in my life. I look back on those moments and still do not quite understand. I am mentally more resilient and empathetic than I believe I would be if I had my father. I understand I would not be where I am today without everything that has happened so far in my life, but as a child, that is not something I could comprehend. Everyone around me told me that I would understand once I got older, and my father is not someone I consider to be a good person, but that did not take away the feeling of being different than everyone else around me. My family, and the large village of people that helped raise me, tried their hardest to help me forget and feel as though I was normal. My family did a great job of not knowing what to do. I only know how to handle the situation because I’ve experienced it firsthand. 

I have grown over the years. I have learned how to heal this pain, which brings us back to The Horth House. I searched for the majority of my life for a place where people would talk about growing up without their parents. More specifically, women without their fathers. I was never able to find that place, so I created my own. The Horth House is a tribute to the home I always wanted but could not obtain. It is a safe place for those of us in unique families to express our happiness, pain, sadness, and every feeling we may experience.

Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I look forward to sharing more with you all. If you would like to share your story, please, contact The Horth House. 

A full transcript is available with each episode for anyone who struggles with a hearing impairment. Please contact The Horth House if you have any questions.

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