Healing Through The Holidays
Ho Ho Horth, everyone! Season’s Greetings and welcome to The Horth House. This week’s episode was a sleigh ride of emotions. I discussed every part of my life, from an Aly’s Ark recap to my stepdad buying an escort for Christmas to dealing with grief. This episode was not one to be missed. Talking about who and what I’m grieving was troublesome to share. I was unsure if or even when I would have these conversations, so to see myself speak so openly was a beautiful and terrifying experience. To my family, friends, and entire support group: thank you for holding me up these past six months. I appreciate you all so much. Through the best and worst of days, you all helped make sure I felt loved and heard and never let me fall too far down the depression rabbit hole. Thank you all so much. I am stronger because of you.
I discussed what it’s like grieving during the holidays, but primarily how to handle those emotionally charged days. This episode is focused on the holiday season in December and the Christmas holiday, but this information is helpful for any occasion. I am personally guilty of using these coping techniques during Father’s Day.
Ways to heal through the holiday:
1. Connect with friends – virtually or in person
If you cannot spend the holidays with certain people, try reaching out to friends and see if they would like to spend the holiday together. Many people would love to allow you into their homes during the holidays, and if you aren't physically in attendance, connect virtually.
One can assume in 2020, with Covid, we learned that a virtual connection is better than no connection. Being on the phone or computer is different than being in person, but know the people on the other side of the screen miss you, love you, and want you to be there just as badly as you.
2. Focus on things that make you happy
Make sure to spend some time with yourself doing things that you love. Focusing on activities that make you happy can boost your mood and a sense of achievement.
Potential activities that could make you happy:
Bake / Cook
Do a puzzle
Play video games
Start a new show and binge the whole thing
Go on a walk / hike
Paint
Write
Anything that brings you happiness
3. Volunteer
Use this time to volunteer and help others in need. Volunteering can help you spread cheer, love, and happiness to those who do not have many of those things. Even if you’re hurting, you could be the reason someone has the best holiday. It’s a way of turning your sadness into happiness.
During the holidays, It can feel like everyone is paired up or has family or someone to be with, so when you feel alone, it can be helpful to feel a sense of community. Helping others will allow you to see the holidays from a different perspective while allowing you to continue a legacy for your loved ones.
4. Find friends that are going through similar situations and have a Friends-Mas
Have your friends pick an episode from their favorite show and watch all the episodes together.
Stay up all night watching scary movies. Start right as the sun is starting to go down, and vow to stay up until the sun is about to rise. That way, you won’t have to handle the stress and social media posts from that day because you’ll be asleep.
This brings me to my next point…
5. Avoid social media like it is the plague
Seeing people post about what you wish you had or were experiencing this year probably won’t make you feel any better. Remember, you have control over the content you see. If you aren’t feeling emotional well when you are consuming this content, then stop. It’s that easy and that complicated. Stop looking at social media.
You can return to your regular social media content the next day, but be easy with yourself on those heavyhearted holidays.
6. Honor your grief and those you are grieving
If you want to honor those you have lost over the holidays, allow yourself to, but know not everyone may be supportive. If they are not, that is okay. Your loss is your loss, and you are experiencing that loss in a different capacity than anyone else. Feel those emotions. Feel that loss. Processing these feelings may hurt now, but allowing them will be far more beneficial than avoiding them.
Ways to honor your grief:
Make a stocking, a card, or a gift for this person.
Listen to their favorite songs.
Wear an item of their clothing, or if possible, smell their clothes.
(this may sound weird, but if you’ve lost someone, then you know)
Go somewhere they love and sit there with no phone, no music. Fully embrace the location – the sounds, the smells, the atmosphere
Start a creative project and dedicate it to them. Examples could be a painting, a story, or a series of poems.
7. Don’t isolate yourself from the world because of your grief
Small increments of self-isolation are okay and often very needed, but do not go too deep. Isolating yourself can cause more depression and feelings of loneliness, as well as leave you feeling more alone than before.
Humans are not meant to go through hardship alone. Biologically humans are built to go through struggles together as a community and a support system.
8. Remember you’re not obligated to celebrate the holidays
If you want to put up your decorations and celebrate with everyone, perhaps you want to celebrate alone, then I commend you. If you do decorate, put up a few extra for those that do not.
If you are someone who is not in the mental headspace to decorate this year, that is okay. Even if it’s your favorite holiday, don’t push yourself if you are not in the mood. There will be another holiday. It’s okay to sit this year out.
Good luck and Happy Holidays to all of you!
Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I look forward to sharing more with you all. If you would like to share your story, please, contact The Horth House.
A full transcript is available with each episode for anyone with a hearing impairment. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with The Horth House if you have any questions.
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